Relationship Advice

This week on getting social with Sid, I had the pleasure of interviewing my brother, Bishop O’mar Wedderburn and his Bride, the first lady Kadian Facey. 

Their story:  O’mar and Kadian have known each other since they were teenagers but they both were married to other people.  They recently connected and now they have a blended family, with three 3 children, Kadian has a boy and a girl from her previous marriage and O’mar, a son from his.  So, who best to ask relationship advice?  We sat down and ask everything from how they met to what is the best advice someone has ever given them. 

Here is the interview: 

Sidoney:  There is a saying that goes “When you know you know”.  When did you know?

O’mar: I knew when I realized that she possessed everything that I desire in a wife.  If not all, she possessed most of it.  Though she was my friend, I was like “wait, she has all these qualities?” 

Kadian: 2 years ago, when we met up for the first time as a couple, something clicked when we kissed that we were more than just friends. 

Sidoney:  What advice would you give a couple who is starting over?

O’mar: Use your past experience as a guide for moving forward; don’t let the past hold you back.  Never think that all women are the same or will hurt you like the previous. 

Kadian:  Never allow your past experiences to navigate you or prevent you from moving forward.  There is life after divorce. 

Sidoney:  You both had been in long term relationships, does the past affect your current relationship?  If yes, how do you deal with letting go of the past?

O’mar:  I accept that not all women are the same.  I do not let the past affect me.  If I see something that resembled the past, I will communicate to her.  I do not want her to feel like I am holding her accountable for the past. She doesn’t know when I am affected by the past.

Kadian: There are certain traits that may resemble my past experiences but I try to not mention it or the person’s name.  I kind of try my best to not judge him, intentionally. 

Sidoney: Would you ever say sorry if it is not your fault?

O’mar:  No, a pet peeve of mine is that I hate to be misunderstood so you won’t get me apologize if it is not my fault but if it is my fault, I always say I am sorry. 

Kadian:  I am always willing to say sorry even when I am not wrong but I must admit in every relationship “sorry” is one of the hardest words to say.  Saying sorry is good but learning from it is better. 

Sidoney:  Do you believe in soulmate or Love at first sight?

Kadian: It depends, what is the definition of soulmate?

O’mar:  No, I believe in attraction at first site then you grow to love the person. 

Sidoney:  Do you think a couple finances should be together or separate?

Kadian:  Definitely together and should be discuss before you say I do.

O’mar:  Both.  We can plan together but I do believe that she may need her own personal account. 

Sidoney:  What financial advice do you have for couples who are struggling?

Both: Prioritize; Live within your means; As Christians, trust in God.  Do not do anything immoral to get it.  

Sidoney:  What are your biggest fears (within the relationship)?

Kadian:  My biggest fear is our marriage not working out.  I love hard so if it doesn’t work out, I fear that I would be the problem.  Another fear that I have is not living up to his expectations.

O’mar:  Being a disappointment.  No real man would want to disappoint their family/wife.  

Sidoney:  You now have a blended family, how is that going?

Kadian:  Everything that we do as a family we discuss.  We have family night.  The children are aware that O’mar will never replace their Father.  They look up to him.  We have discussions and talk before hand.  O’mar is very observant and know how to pretty much deal with them. O’mar son’s name is mentioned, they know him, etc.

O’mar:  It is easy for me because I know how to relate to children.  I have made it clear that I do not consider myself as replacing their father. Kadian is the bad cop and I am the good cop.  Kadian: He spoils them. 

Sidoney:  What are some of the things you have in common?

Both:  We are adventurous.  We are both goal oriented but we don’t necessary share the same passion.  We are very supportive of each other. We like snacking on nuts and fruits.  We are heath conscious. We are family oriented. Both very social.  We are both spontaneous.   

Sidoney:  What is your favourite memory of each other?

O’mar: Connecticut, that was the first time we met up as couple.

Kadian: Same 

Sidoney:  Was it difficult after being friends for so many years to now become partners?

Kadian:  Yes, we had to change our mindset.

O’mar: It was hard for me. 

Sidoney:  What is the single most important thing for a relationship to work?

Kadian: Trust

O’mar: Trust and Love.  With love comes forgiveness. With love comes compromise. With love comes respect.

Sidoney:  What is the best relationship advice has someone given you?

Not to allow outside influences.  Whenever we have a disagreement, we sort it out together and not let anyone get involve.

Bishop O’mar Wedderburn and First Lady Kadian now reside in the UK. You can catch Bishop on his Facebook live every Monday on his program, Monday Morning Meditation.

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